Words: John Dengate
Tune: Trad (The Knickerbocker Line)
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As I was walking down the road, he suddenly appeared:
A bloody turbaned Moslem with a big Bin Laden beard;
I asked, "Are you a terrorist, is that your bloody lurk?"
He said, "No, I'm a carpenter, I'm on my way to work."
I watched him, tracked him, rang up A.S.I.O.
I dobbed him into Alan Jones on talk-back radio.
I may not be a beauty and I don't have any sense
But, by God, I know my duty to the national defence!
They're going to bomb the Harbour Bridge then quiet as a mouse,
They'll sneak up with explosives and blow up the Opera House.
They're going to blow up Murphy's pub. I've heard about the plot…
I hope they get the pokies 'cause I'm losing quite a lot.
There's terrorism everywhere; it makes a man afraid…
I’m buying a machine gun and I'll build a barricade.
You'll have to know the password if you come and visit me.
Shoot first, ask questions later mate, that's my philosophy.
My Aunty May's eccentric; "You’re paranoid," she said.
She doesn't believe the terrorists are underneath the bed.
She reckons it's "hysteria"… I don’t know what she meant…
She said she’s far more frightened of the Federal Government.
John Howard will protect us, he is very strong and brave;
He's passing legislation that will make you all behave!
You won't be facing Mecca on that silly bloody mat
You'll all be Church of England, Abdul, cogitate on that!
Watch them, track them…
Another parody from the wonderful pen of John Dengate.